Real World vs. Geek World
Kris says... thanks to our friends at myGeek for sending us some geek trivia they've dug up (ok, and/or made up) and letting us share them with you!
Real World |
Geek World |
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. |
A "year" is the standard unit of time Geeks use for all project development estimates. |
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. | Geeks can type faster than the average human can think. |
Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head." | Geek is Portuguese for "pencil neck." |
It is impossible to lick your elbow. | While possible, it's not recommended to lick any body part of a Geek. |
23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts. | 32% of all Geek keyboard faults are caused by a build up of doughnut particles, nose hairs and Frito crumbs stuck between the keys. |
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. | Exposure to a Geeks workstation for just an hour can reduce your lifespan by 2 years. |
13% of Americans actually believe that some parts of the moon are made of cheese. | Geeks at NASA loaded a 1-year supply of Triskuits on the first Apollo mission, just in case. |
The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it. | An average Geek's only source of protein is a chocolate bar. |
In Alaska, it is legal to shoot bears. However, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. | In corporate America, it is legal to fire a Geek, but the only known way to actually kill a Geek is to place them on a remote island where the natives have never heard of the word "wi-fi." |
In the course of a lifetime the average person will grow 2 meters of nose hair. | In the course of a week, the average Geek can accumulate almost 2 oz of navel lint. |
Over 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people. | Each day, over 10 million average men and women are reduced to tears when trying to understand written or verbal communication from a Geek. |
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. | Slamming your keyboard against your desk only burns 75 calories an hour, but is much more rewarding. |
There are more than 1,000 chemicals in a cup of coffee. Of these, only 26 have been tested, and half caused cancer in rats. | The chemical makeup of a Geeks digestive system has been proven to cause rats to spontaneously combust. |
80% of people eat their corn on-the-cob in circles rather than side to side. | Geeks were excluded from this study as eating fresh fruits or vegetables of any kind was found to be highly unlikely. |
Floccinaucinihilipilification, the declaration of an item being useless, is the longest non-medical term in the English language. | Howthe*%$@?!!doyouexpect-metodevelopthisinonemonth, is the longest non-technical word Geeks use to express their emotion after receiving technical specs from the marketing department. |
Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel, "Gadsby", which contains over 50,000 words - none of them with the letter E! | A Geek once wrote an entire piece of code using only zeros. |
The word "modem" is a contraction of the words "modulate, demodulate." | Webster defines the word Geek as: A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken (no, seriously - we didn't make this one up!) |
There were no squirrels on Nantucket until 1989. | There were no Geeks in the Bahamas until the annual Star Trek convention was held there in 1995. |
Giraffes have no vocal cords. | Geeks have no sense of fashion whatsoever. |
In Chinese, the words for crisis and opportunity are the same. | In ancient Egyptian, the word for genius and socially awkward is Geek. |
The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat. | While Geek's aren't officially mentioned in the Bible, the words "develop" and "code" do appear, so Geeks were clearly a part of the culture. |
Note: geek trivia above is © 2005 MyGeek Inc.; published with permission.
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